first - wow this was an emotionally powerful piece. it was compelling to read on, it had enjoyable diction and strong imagery. the flow was smooth, and i enjoyed the rhyme scheme through out, no complaints there - there seemed to be few multis, but many internals throughout with a good use of assonance. whether it was supposed to be a twist or i just didn't catch on, but i enjoyed the fact that i originally perceived the piece to be just about a sexual experience, then i thought the boyfriend or husband just went on longer and rougher than she hoped. and then it all came together and suddenly i felt great empathy for the character in this piece. great work. your writing reminds me of another writer i know, but i hadn't seen their writing in a while to match the styles to be able to guess whether you're the same person or not.
second - ""Tell every man and bitch you know I'm the king of this shit, you hoe
...Or I'll be back for you"" - this line made me laugh and shake my head. "Ego and pride mixes with ignorance, ambivalence
Nothing frivolous, I'm infamous...my villainous ways are limitless" this line was fucking dope. overall i thought this was cool, you had a cool story, and illustrated it well with strong imagery. there great usage of multis throughout the piece. it flowed really well as a result. i found the ending to be 'meh' and nothing about this piece other than some of the multis really gave me a wow factor.
vote - if this was closer, the first verse would have depended on the actual writer of the piece. if this was written by a woman, this piece was really good, but if a man wrote this, and got himself into the mind set to write this piece, it would have been far more impressive. but the battle wasn't close enough for me to have to take that into consideration. i was considering if it happened, my vote would say "if the first verse was written by a dude, then vote that guy" lol.
first piece
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