[Soulstice]

Rep, brimmin', and lethal traits were weird words. I wish you started a rhyme scheme with twists n turns as well. "foreshadowing" the scheme, finishing off your previous one strong and then going in on the next one is one of my favorite tactics to keep the flow smooth. The imagery at the end was good ending for a purely evocative piece. It was solid. you have potential, strengthen your vocabulary (do not use big words for the sake of it, but there are some beautiful english words you can use to shake up your language) and your imagery as well. Flow and emotion were there. Conceptually, things come and go. Write what you feel, read hof and league pieces, and you'll start coming up with real original stuff