Cdm - The story portrayed here feels broken up and jumping between points that draws my attention from the overall message of what is trying to be portrayed. That in itself has creatively destroyed my own interest. Which is a dead fall. There are good rhyme schemes and rhymes throughout, but the writing itself didn't hold my attention.
Split -You came with a technical verse and some insane schemes and it played out well. I don't have all to much else to really say about it.
V/ Split
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