CDM, the parts that do not rhyme are good, the ending especially, it was fitting because of its abruptness and finality. There is no ambiguity or elegant phrase - "the pain was indescribable with no respite." - perfect ending to what you wrote. Must admit I laughed at the first line "“YOU HAVE BEEN HEINOUS SINCE WIPES SOOTHED YOUR ENFLAMED ANUS, AS BABY FACES TRIED YOUR FAITHLESS PARENT’S PATIENCE." but if we go by the Christian doctrine of original sin, then it was a fitting line. The all-caps was a nice stylistic touch. Tone was authoritative without being aggressive, only exception that did not fit was the "YOU WORM" part, perhaps that line would have been better without the YOU WORM part.
Split, that was high-quality science fiction writing, the way you managed to mix in the religious themes was great too. Presentation of a high-tech future where religion plays a key role. Reminds me of those old classic books about Theocracy dystopias, can't remember what they are called. The creation of you own words (E.g., SimuLink, Four Mezzers, SimMetric) and creation of your own characters (E.g., President Bernake XII) really fleshed out this world, and without going in depth/off topic to explain it you rather give a quick reference and let us think about it. Truly, I wanted to know more about this world, and you showed good self control too keep a strong focus. Overall, voted for Split.
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