THANKYOU FOR YOUR CALL MR. NINE. GOOD EVENING CITIZENS OF THE JURY. ON BEHALF OF MR. BLEEK WE CLAIM A SIMPLE CASE OF FALSE IDENTITY. THE FIRST DAMMING FACT IS THAT MR. BLEEK HAS AN IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER.
EVIDENCE A: BLEEKS TWIN – THIS WAS THE CREATURE PHOTOGRAPHED WITH A) ONE POMPOM HAT. B) ACKNE INFESTED FEATURES.
TO CONTINUE. WE CLAIM BLEEK COULD NOT TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF HIS OWN MARIJUANA DUE TO ONE STOLEN AND BROKEN CAMERA DEVICE. THE ONLY LOGICAL ACTION WAS TO FIND A REPLACEMENT PICTURE USING A SIMPLE INTERNET SEARCH. NOW WHY SHOULD OUR INNOCENT ALBINIZED BLEEK BE PUNISHED FOR THE INNOVATION AND INGENUITY OF HIS TWIN BROTHER? NO, NO, NO. THEY SHOULD BOTH BE AWARDED. MEMBERS OF JURY LET US TAKE SOLACE AND REMEMBRANCE OF THE CLOWN-COURT THAT WAS WARTHOGSHED. LET THE INNOCENT REST IN PEACE, AND MAY A HASTILY MADE FALSE JUDGMENT OF THIS NATURE NEVER BE GIVEN AGAIN. WE PLEAD INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY IN THE DOTTED FACE OF THIS SO CALLED ‘LAUGHABLE’ EVIDENCE. FURTHER, WE ASK FOR ALL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF MR. BLEEKS TWIN BROTHER TO BE STRICKEN FROM THE MEMORIES OF ALL, AND FOR MR. BLEEK TO BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE UNMOLESTED WITH HIS NEW NEIGHBOR-PERSONALITY-STEALING E-PERSONA.
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