[Adonis]

First off, looking at the topic "Movie"...all I think of is "Honey I shrunk the Kids"...And "Anty" Da God!!!


Zy - Pretty dope verse, Reminds me a lot of "The Matrix" and the conundrum between Anderson and Mr. Smith. I don't think I could write a verse like this, meaning the topical route you went in writing of something so simple, giving it life through a computer and basically ending mankind with 1-2 lines total. You chose to go in depth with the character, which is dope, I mean its rare where I finish a verse on the first read and walk away feeling like I picked up and understood its entirety, so kudos on that. The flow was good, story was great, character was amazing. Concept line of ..."Realized I am an I", thought this was mad witty. All in all a well written, straight forward and easy to follow verse that to me, had zero hiccups as far as flow and readability. Good shit.

Frank - a 60+ line verse bro, really??? Came in with a free hour, pretty sure I'll be way in the negative when I'm done with my breakdown...here goes. Not enjoying the accent, be it southern, impoverished, maybe both. So far not a fan, strains me while reading. OK, so I will say this was very hard for me to get through, I'm going to be blunt, and I know you are a good writer, but this verse does not show it. It was pure quantity over quality, I mean it repeated it self in so, so, so many ways. You said he explained him being a broke bum in like 5 stanzas, I got it the first time. To me, it would have been very easy to chop this down massively and basically "quilt" new, better lines/bars from two or three combined. Some of the wording was atrocious, some by choice, still hard to read though. I liked the opening stanza. I had to read it twice to get a flow, but I understood what you doing and going for from there, then you repeated your self a few times and ended with Larry hooking the bums up. Then there is the case of the topic, I see zero connection. I saw either Keith or Split say somewhere a while back that topics are merely inspiration and not meant to hinder the writer therefore we shouldn't judge based off of use of topics, I do not share those views. All in all, not a verse I enjoyed. Again, I don't want to offend you as I'm sure I have, I know I would be offended, but it was a long drawn out verse about a bum who stitches quilts. IDK?


vote - Zygote Two completely different verse, not sure anyone else would have taken these routes if given the same topic, but in the end there was a verse I thoroughly enjoyed, felt a connection towards and to be blunt, was just scripted better.