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Old 10-20-2014, 01:59 AM   #14
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19


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- AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)

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I was going to let this one solve itself, but I see it's still a tie and have read these verses three times.

CopyPat: This was a very good, direct take on the topic. One could argue that using the phrase dark in this manner might be seen as racist, but I don't think that's where you were going with it. The humor and rhyme schemes and clarity all stuck out to me. Though it wasn't as good as either of your previous two submissions in this league, you've been on a roll and showed the crispness that you bring to the table well here.

Vulgar: You had an awesome concept and some very clever lines executing it. The problem was that I don't really get the connection to the topic on any level. This was such a creative idea that maybe when you had it, you got locked in on it and went with it as means of avoiding an admittedly tough topic. But that end of this didn't connect with me. Also, there were a handful of bumps with the wording, and the rhymes were as complex or strong as I expect from you. That comes out even more when facing CopyPat.

Vote: CopyPat
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