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Old 10-19-2014, 09:35 PM   #6
Soulstice
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Battle Record: 18-21


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NYC - Your style is like vulgar meets uh-oh. And it really showed here. This was quite a slideshow of rapid fire imagery. Where you lost me if your judicious use of synonyms. Ronin? Death God? are these all new characters? I didn't think so but it was difficult for me to place exactly what was happening and required a few read-overs. The subtle actions were sick though. The pyrotechnics to commence the battle, the Death god punch, the guy fused into the tree was a great image as well. enter the void of my dojo and the blood moon's rapport were excellent turns of phrase as well. The ending was enjoyable. Samurai Jack meets Archer.

Certain - ok, so I didn't really relate to this. It seems to me that a burrito sparked some tangential stream of conscienceness about.. life. There's a lot to digest here (HA!). And while there were a lot of good lines. (Ennui dressiest clothes, Yoko, smile saying goodbye), it didn't really wrap up for me (Im on fire!!) at the end when you brought up the burrito again. It didn't land on the same spot where the tangent began. It zigzagged everywhere. Original beginning, but it wasn't as much a vehicle as it was a jumping off point into freeflowing writing. Maybe I missed something but I didn't enjoy the entire piece as much as I enjoyed each stanza

V - NYCSPITZ.
Both had their faults that stood out for me more than there strengths. Both did well in a vacuum but underperformed given their normal caliber.
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