muzzle - Ok. youthemuzzl3- first of all, you're not writing on topic. second, you're not rhyming.
let me break this down for you.
this is a storytelling league. you're speaking from your personal voice. setting yourself up for failure. quote..
followed by ruthlessness against ones I love. I began making counter-attacks, with simplicity and forwardness…
still mad cuz you're getting trolled? k.
another quote..
and grabbed my own… and pulled me out of the spout of death; as a netcee… finally I could breath,
we don't care. sorry, but not sorry.
However, the main clump of my soul was still intact. In fact, it had been cleaned by the toilet cleaner, lysol.
But I smelled like chemicals, so I attracted more: chemicals; and I digested them in any way I could.
sit back and ask yourself, how did this rhyme? how was it dope? ask yourself why.
The circular motion continued, so I'm raised up, again. Now it begins with repentance.
I was a child, once more. full of innocence. Shit happens… craziness is witnessed.
ance, ence, essed. nope. didn't rhyme.
mentioning your opponents name in your verse is like getting in a fight with a dude and then giving him a handjob. just dont fucking do it.
There was no longer a need for a ballot -- I'd already won. Mr. J's baseline solo was done.
you carried an end rhyme two bars right here. good fucking job..
words of truth, as blunt and harsh as they may sound.
I may be frowned upon and pounded on, but I have found:
Myself, rebounded and surrounded with those whom would have drown,
if it weren't for my arm to pull them out of the river, and onto the ground.
in the end, you really need to think about what mechanics are. couplets, inners, multiples, assonance. sign out for a while. look it up. vote on matches... thoroughly.. then come back when you're ready. cuz right now, you're just making yoursef look bad. and i say that as a friend. good luck.
/v mr. j - you pretty much said.. fuck it im going to rhyme for a bit and win. and you did. i enjoyed how you started lines 5 6 and 7. favorite lines..
when they curse the throne, spreading blasphemy to other ears
But on my own terms, I will always be there to help...brother dear
I'll cry other tears, those shed through the blood and malice
and return the haven to it's former glory, raise up your chalice
like the switch up. sounded good. felt it. finished off strong. no complaints, for what it is. .. solid as usual j.
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