Good feedback from Pancake. Repped.
Defiant - This was alright to me, the construction was the best part of it, being that you had a beginning, middle and a somewhat thoughtful ending. The rhyming was okay, and the "passion level" of the verse was lacking. If this was 3x as long, with actual characters, identities and histories, it would've been a much more engaging read. In my opinion, if you see the potential in your own creative stories, they'll become creative stories as you write them. Almost like willing something to life - this is the world of fiction and thankfully that's possible.
Dove Dozer - Your rhythm has good orientation, like footwork in a way. Something to bite onto, take hold of, was a concept about computers being able to learn for themselves. Automation of machines in a human world. I thought it was cool, but the effort still isn't there. It's half present, heading for the edge constantly.
Overall, Dove Dozer did enough to win it.
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