[Certain]

The structure here was a bit out of the ordinary, but it has potential if the content matches. And it didn't seem out of place within what you were going for, but what you were going for wasn't fully realized. There's a lot of potential here, and I'll start with the fact that you came at this topic in a good way and wrote a very focused and committed verse. There were some good concepts, but most of them were buried in clumsy or cliché phrasing. It's difficult to explain sometimes why a turn of phrase seems awkward, but I didn't like the use of "ownership" and "owners" and then later "heart" and "heart" in the same lines. There also were some strange verb choices, such as "tell" instead of "ask" before "which one..." I liked the concept of "personalities that are bi-polar," but you could have brought out the cleverness more with something like "Some (or all) of my personalities are bipolar." The biggest problem that needs to be immediately addressed as you compete in this league is that the rhyming was very weak. Single-syllable slants simply aren't enough to succeed here. But I'm excited to watch where you go from here because I think you have potential.