Hello,
First of all, I was fond of Mr. J's writing. The point of view of the artist depicting the theme in the mural was an imaginative way to tell as story. Not because it was 1st person, but rather because one could feel the surrealism as the street artist did the canvass, and every so often taking a step back to admire and analyze it. It is almost like one was in the moment as the artist took a few feet back to eye the portraiture. I thought the verse was well rounded.
Vulgar, on the other hand captivated the piece in a more straightforward manner. At first retelling the story of a fallen cop, and the details of his demise. Then he suddenly shifted gears, and decided to use his childhood friend, who was also an officer, to recount a type of eulogy, or more like memoir for his fallen friend. Reminiscing on all the good times with him as they did graffiti; wanting to continue his legacy by doing one last go round to honor the memory of his friend. It was also very well polished, with a crispness to it. However, it was a bit dull with no real climax to it, although obviously there was tragedy to the story since its basically a tale of honoring the death. The difference between tragedy ans climax, the rising and fall of a story are dissimilar at times. One being an elemental segment of emotional crises not necessarily for plot development. While the climax, though usually a suspenseful factor or plot twist, but not always has a direct effect on interacting with the reader, as well as an unraveling of a plot's central theme in ways that portray various angles of the narrative, its highs and lows.
Anyways my vote is for Vulgar for a more polished read.
Thank you.
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