You know, this kind of drop needs a dissection cuz it's cool just doesn't quite cut it. Since I'm as sober as I can possibly be tonight this will probably be my best effort. Let's give it a shot.
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ah
truly unattached to any character plot
pick the rose, let it pool your blood. remember me not
as the devil grasses drop into a central crevasse
cliffside, like a melody I've all but forgotten
I really like how you set up of the narration here. Introduces your Gothic themes right away.
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the scent of you can bring it back. the crack of a whip
madame of the mist. cancer sticking to my flesh like a cyst
woodwind rifts like wooden rafts descending the styx
overthinking every action was as simple as this
cymbal crash. symbol status, shallow side of the pit
pluck your heart until it snaps, like instruments. be that your wish
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Love/hate, death, and music. Aren't they the same in many ways? Cool use of imagery. "woodwind rifts like wooden rafts descending the styx" This line especially stands out to me cause it uses more than one technique. It's a metaphor for music and death but also like a play on words like rift and riff. Atleast I think it is. Nice.
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carnal red the growl and fang to empty your gaze
pulsing veins like all those strobe machines we worshipped at raves
eyeball pressure, sinus affection. searching for dissonance
blacking out electric funerals we turned into christenings
Vampire clubbin' swag. Don't think I've come across that before in lyrical form. That is unique as shit. Makes me think of that HBO show with the vamps living in modern society for some reason.
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it's not your business where i ended up, i left you a message
you never returned the favor so i never regret it
vegetation in the pottery. flamethrower the beverage
a silhouette like splinter cells and private detectives
the wind, it cries like something grinding gently against it
when everyone's enthralled i feel so uninterested
falling back on attitude, habitual penchant
black sledgehammer in my skull to make a lasting impression
You slow it back down a bit here, bring it to a more reality based feel. My tired brain thanks you for the reprieve. Also my inner child(which is actually not much different from my outer man) loves the splinter cell reference.
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obscure the stars like camouflage was smoky perfume
draining Morgan like i traded 40 golden doubloons
JP Morgan reference/vampire metaphor that's really clever it made my head spin for a bit.
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stupid as a motherfucker. older than new
the type to hear a blatant lie and hope that it's true
sure as oceans are blue. there's a ghost in your room
hiding in your breath. let the poison pollute
spongy soil in summertime, her rose was in bloom
so i'm gauging bloody roots to harvest all of the fruit
overdose and act like i was forced to abuse
hatred fucking china dolls, i've seen Mulan in the rouge
I'm not saddened by it anymore. I'm only confused
why nobody seems to realize theres nothing to lose
deadman
Nice way to close it. You got this very interesting ebb and flow. It's like an ocean wave that drifts and crashes at different tempos in a seamless kind a way. A lot of people are here are kinda spoken word but I can actually see this work on an instrumental. Do you do this stuff to a beat, cuz it feels like it.
Great work Bro. I'm going to sleep now.