[dead man]

first couplet was nice. very suburban, if you get my drift.

you cant accept life and death and refute the impermanent,
but you can ride through the loops with a stoop for a firmament
- this was more cityscape. you're juxtaposition game is strong here. higher, divine and the lowly township architecture of man. my back porch was once my crystal ballroom, meeting grounds, kissing moon. everything.

you'd have reworded it.
that's the Split Eight steez, and in complete seriousness-

lol

i like the 3rd wall distortion

Scotch and sardines, literally off a hundred ten dollars a week.

sounds like the white man's nigger rich. great.

there was a bit of a fizzle as far as your actual content was concerned. like you reached the end of a rope and began anew.

the second segment was cool. i never faired well in any trig classes but i can dig your reference.

Nail ninety-five plagiarized theses with felt tip to cloth,
savor the fraying of meaning as it melts in the wash

this made me think of all the derivative research articles that have been forced down my throat. but we all start somewhere i suppose. no idea's original? idk


thanks for the read and i am all aboard on the collab tip

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