[Split]

Greed smoked crack and keyed. Muzzl3 went to a dark place no one wanted to go.


Muzzl3. Don't vote on my battles. Thought your butterfly metaphor was worth focusing, was reminiscent of the butterfly effect and seemed to follow the trope of order out of chaos from inception/conception/ an initial spark. No standout rhymes or aesthetic aspect to your cadence or rhythm. Seems like you put a lot of filler and internal rhymes in a blender and threw it on the page. Storywise, it approached cohesiveness. You need to edit your shit.

Not like, tweak lines and words and ideas and prune the garden of WTF sprouting from your urinal cake muzzle. But like, cut that shit down to size brah. Lengthwise and widthwise, just way too many words and way too much unnecessary content. Either you're trying to tell too much of a story, or you're adding extraneous details. Write some haikus for fucks sake.


Greed.
This was like a salvia overdose mid-DMT trip. Not good & no idea what you were going for. Seemed like a Jesusgodflex. Pretty lame & common fare, even if you posted this in the OM. Focus on rhyming less and making your thoughts and story understood more.


V/ Muzzle. Don't vote on my battles.