[PancakeBrah]

Certain-

Good. Very short story-esque, airtight in execution and cohesion. Every detail tended to and thought out. I like the subtle aspects of this verse; cubits/earth coins, the advertisement, and the fact that machines are responsible for the very organs that keep us alive. It was futuristic, but realistically futuristic. So that was good. I think the story, overall, was alright and was buoyed by your thoroughness. Kind of had a double twist, although the last line is more an irony than I twist, I guess. I don't have any complaints, really. Vulgar brought up some honest criticism, though, and maybe his points have some merit. But your style is your style and it's not inherently better or worse than someone else's. Thanks for the read.

Frank-

I really enjoyed everything up until 'money galore'. This type of overly descriptive writing is right in my wheelhouse and you did it well. In particular, 'Ribbon in your hair' to 'money galore' was strong. But from "You love pot too?" on was pretty mediocre. Your word choice switched from elegant to brash too quickly, and everything felt rushed. Definitely a tale of two halves in terms of quality. I did like your last line quite a bit. If you had strengthened and taken your time on your ending you would've taken this.

Certain showed to his expected level of quality. Frank started out gangbusters and fizzled out at the end. Thanks for the reads bros.

v/Certain