I am no by means an expert, but here is my lowly advice...
Muzzle your grasp of the manipulation of language is splendidly improving. My suggestion is to hone your rhymes. By rhymes I am specifying internal rhymes, as well as more advanced schematics, such as multi-syllables. Start slow, one does not have to do the 4-6 syllables that are the average mean in this forum. Even two will suffice as you undertake the quest of mastery. But again I applaud the progress you have made. The sentences you have crafted are more refined. The language is more noble. Unfortunately some of the lines are a bit drawn out without any well executed internal rhyme scheme to keep it flowing.
When building a structure remember that the foundation is paramount, especially if you are deciding on reaching the high heavens. One must be grounded before becoming a medium of that which is above. In other words, one must be well rooted before touching the stars.
Also I am elated that you are writing daily, this will lead to steadfast results where flourishing as a wordsmith is the only possibility. Do not get lazy, keep learning, and practicing as if your hair was on fire. Those that make it seem effortless only are able to do so because they have put a lot of effort, and spare time in order to be effortless.
Thank you.
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