^^It's serial not seriel....And this was much better than 'okay'
You can tell a great story NG and this piece is no different holmes. All I would say is maybe to switch up the rhyme scheme a little bit every now and then you know what I mean? Add some inners and such. That's really the only advice I'd say to you because you're a hell of a storyteller as I've told you before. Keep droppin man.
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