View Single Post
Old 04-04-2013, 12:45 PM   #4
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
Zen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 35079722
Zen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant future
Default

^^It's serial not seriel....And this was much better than 'okay'
You can tell a great story NG and this piece is no different holmes. All I would say is maybe to switch up the rhyme scheme a little bit every now and then you know what I mean? Add some inners and such. That's really the only advice I'd say to you because you're a hell of a storyteller as I've told you before. Keep droppin man.
Zen is offline   Reply With Quote