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Old 09-22-2014, 01:01 AM   #3
Certain
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19


Champed
- AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)

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Milk Chocolate: This was a solid showing, of the caliber of a championship battle. I really liked the line about The Planes because, even though "getting high"/"taking flight" wordplay normally is played, it was worded well and felt very distinctly personal, not just in the sense that it was a personal but in the same way that Nas' "You sold your soul for riches" line felt like a personal affront. The first stanza as a whole was better than the second pretty clearly, though the closer on the first stanza was one of the weakest lines in the verse. The line about murda sho's looks was harsh, and the 2d line was clever. In that second stanza, the Smoke line was good and personal, but there weren't many standouts as a whole. Mostly it was a bit generic, maybe lazy.

Name Pending: The opening four lines felt almost like a checklist, coming up with the best Chocolate line followed by the best Milk line. But they were really, really good lines, just would have been more effective if spread apart a little in such a long verse. The tramp stamp line was interesting, but my research shows that Orc mostly references Butler as the best text battler ever. The Falcons line was so slick and sort of a throwback to a time when writing was valued more in battling.It's interesting that you both had Will Ferrell movie references. At least, I assume each of you wrote one of those. The Anchorman one was much better. The me vs. Orc line was clever. The Jam Master J and B Rabbit lines were pretty bad, and a different, worse Jake from State Farm line was just used in the Summer Classic championship.

Both verses slipped in the second halves, but I thought Name Pending was a little more consistent and had better wording and delivery (though both teams are very good at wording). In essence, I enjoyed it more.

Vote: Name Pending
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