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Old 04-03-2013, 09:23 PM   #16
Juxtaposition
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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There were elements from both works that caught my attention.

With Topical... the tone and language from the start fit very well with the idea of the story. I enjoy twist endings, but not for just the sake of it, and you told a fine tale. I really liked the strength of your writing, the alliteration, the way nouns verbs and adjectives were weaved together.

For Inn... I'm comfortable with high language as well as the language of the common man, so to see both in one battle was a treat. I'm not one to be fooled by language, I try to see what's beneath and at the same time the artistry involved in the craft. Your story was more direct with it's narrative, and with that style you are able to hit with single lines of impact like
"Sick with bitterness he becomes a regular patient to his ignorance."
I love wordplay and if it's done creatively and also has a meaning behind it all the better. I think at first glance you hit me with 3 or 4 of those sort of lines.

This was a close battle to me. But in the end... I think Topical got this.

If anyone has watched the Simpson's and Family Guy... this is what it reminded me of. Topical gave me an entire episode... he created atmosphere a theme, a story with an ending, that tweaked my nose a bit.

Inn had some strong one liners that made me pause and appreciate, but the entirety of the verse, added up to less, because of although giving some different angles when it came to metaphors... fundamentally a lot of what Inn did was basic. But basic done strongly, if that makes sense.

Topical was able to deliver something with more value to me. But Inn has talent with his wordplay and story development and ability to be impressive with common language.
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