trap - without scanning the votes before me, i had no idea this was a gimmick verse, and would have said it was only an average verse. grasping the concept, as ill-fitting as i think it is for this format, this was above average. there were, like others said, some confusion with personal pronouns. i think that's what they're called. anyway, we're already constricted by the line and word limit cap, we have to write with respect to the assigned topic, and then you want to tighten the corners of the box we have here even further? you've cut off half the room with which to move in this arena. i don't think it was a wise move - without knocking your writing ability, which is good to great, though unremarkable here. your approach played a part in that. it was an odd move. based on reading you each through this tourney, i thought the two of you were pretty evenly matched. no favours were done with this.
kann - unquestionably a solid verse and probably the best entry i've read from you yet. this wasn't fancy, but your style isn't. it's stripped down, in no bad way, and extremely intelligible and reader-friendly. i might value that more than most because i never was, and probably won't be, adept at writing for my audience. i don't think the rapping of songs was forced. and major props for using the semi-colon correctly while making the rhyme possible and uncontrived - though answered the call was just a bit too slanted for me. that middle segment was strong, and sandwiched between two complimentary couplets on either side. the metronome was good, as was the pacing. everything was wrapped up nicely. you didn't do much of anything wrong here, and i enjoyed the read. thanks.
probably the only lopsided battle this week. no offence.
v/kannon
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