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Old 09-14-2014, 09:37 PM   #7
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

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Soulstice - Charmingly written, honestly though, I've seen or read this approach too many times to call it original. The wording was good, as was the pacing and rhyming. Let's see what oats brings to the table.

oatmeal - Love verses are tough to pull off but you manage to do it justice here. The use of elegant language and shiny visuals was on display, the only sharp edge maybe was "traducement." It most likely stuck out to me because I've never seen it before, but it was a little chunky nonetheless in the first line like that.

I generally enjoyed oats more. Nice battle.
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