[Adonis]

As I do not have time this week, I will vote on battles that need votes opposed to required..

CK - The second stanza reads as a dead man in a tomb coming back to life, almost explaining a zombie returning from the grave, truly different and abstract, proceed. Abstract is the key word, I don't know if anyone, myself included will fully grasp the concept, but here goes. A man, or women, struggling with coming out of the closet, eventually does come out and is met with much adversity. From a god, from the people, and the struggles before were nothing from the struggles of "the now" and the path that lies ahead. I'm sure something in there is correct, surely not all of it. but I loved the diction, you take pride in each words placement, you carefully and intricately place a phrase or word or saying that not only rhymes, but holds multiple syllable rhymes and most importantly has great meaning for the grand scheme of things. Many posses one and can become elite in topicals, you, at least in this verse, possessed all three and exceeded my expectations of any writer. Great verse son, but better writing. I will say I'm not sure where the zombie comes into affect of my interpretation, because I, clear as day, got a vibe that a zombie was enjoying the morsels of the flesh, which I suppose could be a sexual innuendo which i missed. Did not like "Fight fire with fire in my holster"

KK - A story of a killer holding the detective captive in his mind for short banter. From what was revealed in part two, not having read part one, I gathered enough information from early on in this piece to say with near certainty that the killer is the detective while asleep. It's tough to write a true story with multiple parts to it and keep the reader interested, you did this well, but as I'm guessing the grand finale it will later hurt you if ever finish it. Didn't like the word choice nor the choice to split this line into two lines..." making cuts as smooth as a barbers cool"...Did not like the revelation as it changed the original main character voice, but I assume it was there for part one's sake, yet didn't truly fit in this IMO. I will say its very hard to use actual conversations and make them rhyme or even fluid while maintaining a conceivable conversation, and you did very well twice in this verse alone. Loved the "furious cousin" bar, shit was fairly ill.


All in all here are two amazing verses, when matched against everyone else's in the league this week each would come out with a winning record, yet you face off. A true story line, vs. a abstract verse filled with whatever you take it as. One straight forward, one beating around the bush. Both written extremely well, one had more errors, and had less degree of difficulty as far as structure and rhyme schemes go IMO. Vote CK, battle of the week!