[Ink]

Zygote:
Interesting POV you chose to go with here. The vocab here was impressive.. but animal semen? what the fuck.
That ending line was killer and I appreciated how you paid attention to the litte things such as him sliding his finger across her chest..

Adonis:
Sorry, but "he's crowning" had me rolling..
That start of your verse was perfectly done:
"Asystole screech – That flat line speak,
She sings a love tale... Then exits on key,"
I've read alot of people covering this type of scene.. with the beeping and flatlining.. but never done as well as this.
"Seen as a halo. No, I'm not an angel,
In fact I pimp walk at such an awkward angel."
assuming that second "angel" was supposed to be angle?..
The ending was not what I hoped from a story perspective, but was well done technically.

This one's a tough one, I really liked both.. ugh
Okay, after much deliberation..

Vote- Adonis. It really was by a hair for me.. but what slightly tipped it to adonis was just how efficient he was with his wording.. he accomplished a lot in places with few words..