Vinzr - I see a lot of potential in you... that said, you didn't let the beast out here. You kept your manner of writing calm, forensic, by the book. I thought it was decent but nothing beyond that. The rhyme scheme wasn't overly complex but it also wasn't awakening. I didn't gather any energy from how you blended different rhythms together. Overall this was a decent topical verse.
Que - What's up fam, glad you made it over here. Dope verse. The approach is not easy to think of; what you concieved was creative to say the least. I enjoyed it from start to finish. Occasionally the rhyming wasn't as sharp as it could've been, like for instance I wasn't feeling the breast plates bar.
Tonight! The grey lands will caress many corpses
even beneath our feet,as i speak, lie the remorseless
^Raw lines. Reminded me of Jus Allah.
My vote goes to Que this week for a fresher package.
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