soul - i don't like the way you used a comma to splice laconic, sedated to fit klonopin maiden. you should have just said and, and let the multi break. i don't know. i never try to do that. it rubs me the wrong way. that and 'reaching to destiny' was eh. brilliant writing, otherwise, containing a palpable character sketch within ten lines and also (what i think is) an extended metaphor. i'm yet to see the line limit or word cap hinder your style.
pent - very solid. i love the ambivalent antipode of hot and cold, personally, it's something i've alluded to a few times (i prefer the cold) and it served as a nice thread dangling through the core of your write up here. really fresh tackling of the topic, kind of meta, i guess. i think, from you, i would have expected (slightly) more impressive rhyming, but it wasn't an issue per se.
really tough battle to vote on, and i should perhaps meditate on each verse more, but i'll go with my gut.
v/soul
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