pancakebrah - very good. i liked the gentle treatment of the language to illustrate the scene, and some of the metaphor was stellar. the writing felt deliberate. from a rhythmic aspect, i thought the fulcrum/folk strum/duldrum worked beautifully, but drug buzz not so much. the pin drop in the distance line was probably my favourite. more than solid.
wrecka - uhm, kind of cool rhyme exercise. probably didn't yourself too many favours by adhering to that one scheme throughout, it made for some awkard wording: broken and smashed/emotion and wrath/awoken a mass -- the first two were pretty redundant, the third just sounds off. there's other instances. topic was also just tacked on at the end. this wasn't bad though.
v/pancake
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