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Old 09-07-2014, 09:57 PM   #11
Soulstice
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fuck my vote got deleted.

jilti - i liked the foreshadowing you had at the middle of the piece, talking about the tetrad fractal and meteors. then you followed it up saying nobody could know what day the apocalypse will happen. it turned out to be an ominous wink from the powers on high. kind fo creepy. your wording was strange though. "the earth will sink in" - i know you mean the landmasses into water, but 'the earth' makes me think about the planet itself.

kan - very polished. i liked that you set the scene before providing exposition. sharp storytelling, you managed to provide motivation, action, consequence, and a resolution in your compacted line limit. you were mechanically tighter than jilti as well.

although i enjoyed jiltis tounge in cheek doomsaying, i think that was the one dimension of the piece. kannon provided a lot more to sink my teeth into.

v - kannon
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