[PancakeBrah]

Jilti:

"Joel 2:30
"I will show wonders in the heavens and earth through fire, smoke, and blood"
"The sun will turn dark and moon blood red before the terrible day of the Lord comes"
an undertone overshadowing Passover and Jewish feast of the Tabernacles
2015, the 28th day of September when the last of four lunar eclipses form a tetrad fractal "

I'm not familiar with the bible passage you're referencing so I don't know if you're lifting straight from it or paraphrasing or what. That's kind of the risk you run when you do something like this I suppose. The first two lines were descriptive enough, the rhyme was single syllable and soft and with so many syllables per line your flow really suffered. Once you got out of the quotes it got better. As mentioned early, Chyeah-ish. The rhyme was better in the last two lines. Predictive but feels a bit stuck in the mud. Okay start.

"coinciding with a supernatural act of God from the bible verse Matthew 24:29
"After tribulations of those days, the heavens shall shake as stars fall from the sky"
a reference to asteroids crashing into earth, similarly like the dinosaur extinction
but in a wider region. causing seismic readings all over earth until it entirely sinks in"

The same exact criticism is here for the first two lines from the first two lines of the piece. Wordy lines with a soft single syllable kills the reading. Either up the complexity of the rhyme or go Diode's route and spice up your line with internals and little tricks to fill the vacuum of expect complexity. The last two lines in this section were your most complete and best of the piece, especially the last line. Definitely picked up the technical end there and it read really well, with good rhyming mechanics. But you're still going nowhere, just describing a possible scenario buttressed by the supposed validity of bible allusions.

"fire, bleeding, and smoke remnants are whats left apart from mens' souls
"But of that day no one knows. Not angels nor his son, only the father alone"
Mark 13:32"

Eh. So the payoff is God can only know with certainty when the end will come. Just like the previous two instances of quotes you filled your lines to the brim with a soft single rhyme. Once instance of this can really hurt a piece, let alone three.

What we're left with is a piece weak on the technical side with no real payoff. This read like a quick summary of some biblical apocalyptic scenarios, that's it. There's nothing to it. The writing wasn't strong enough to buoy it to relevance.

Kannon:

"Biggie 1:4
I lit my cigarette and blew the smoke in his bloodied face
It's funny how some money can change a man so suddenly
A week ago, my brother was my closest partner in crime,
Until I caught him skimming product off the top, with a line"

I don't know if you purposely alluded to Jilti's verse with that Biggie concept or not. Seems hard to believe as a coincidence. The opening was perfunctory and fine. I liked the imagery of the first line, second line was fine, and the story started to form with the last two. Not too much to say here. Not bad but not intensely good.

"From where I stand at, his blood filled the cracks in the granite
Broke his nose, cause my brother broke that fourth commandment
The duct tape dug in his wrists as he struggled to break free
Broken bones in place of broken trust, covered in kerosene"

Better. I liked the allusion to the fourth commandment. That's the key difference between you and Jilti. You used allusions as a piece of your verse, there weren't the entire point. Good on that. Broken bones in place of broken trust was okay. I could see someone thinking that's kind of hokey but I thought it was fine. Your rhyming was better here than in the first section, and your flow has been strong throughout.

"I tossed my lighter into the golden liquid, collect this moral bounty
Blood is thicker than water, but cash rules everything around me"

"Golden liquid" was trying too hard. I don't know, felt off to me. The last line was cool. Again, using allusions as a tool instead of the purpose.

Your take on the topic was very literal (smoke and blood, literally smoke and blood) but good. Very hip hop, obviously. It was kind of quirky in that way, nice. Kind of a fun little verse, I think. Your flow was your strength from a technical stand point, which is to be expected from an audio guy. Rhymes were kind of basic but leagues better than your opponent. Decent read. Thanks.

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One-sided here. I didn't like Jilti's verse much at all, he definitely took a step down from last round. Kannon's verse was better on all fronts, although I think it could have been a touch more complex. Thanks for the read fellas.

v/Kannon