Netcees - View Single Post - Round 2: 3. Split vs. R. Cormier \\ Split wins 4-3

Pent uP · 09-05-2014, 04:34 AM

Cormier - office space? This verse screams office space to me and if im wrong so be it, but its 130 am and im in a car sooo im not googling that name. Anyways the verse itself: characteristic smooth progression and accurate writers voice. You accomplished a lot with few lines - back story, emotion, and a full timeline. I think in the bigger picture the more story focused writing felt underwhelming with such a large line constriction.

Split -- I feel like your verse suffered severely from the line limit. It divulged a good amount of information, but almost none at the same time. The approach to the topic was refreshing but the impact of the verse to me was lackluster. Arrrg

Vote - Cormier

I think he did more with the given space.

09-05-2014, 04:34 AM	#5
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,499 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862275	Cormier - office space? This verse screams office space to me and if im wrong so be it, but its 130 am and im in a car sooo im not googling that name. Anyways the verse itself: characteristic smooth progression and accurate writers voice. You accomplished a lot with few lines - back story, emotion, and a full timeline. I think in the bigger picture the more story focused writing felt underwhelming with such a large line constriction. Split -- I feel like your verse suffered severely from the line limit. It divulged a good amount of information, but almost none at the same time. The approach to the topic was refreshing but the impact of the verse to me was lackluster. Arrrg Vote - Cormier I think he did more with the given space. Last edited by Pent uP; 09-05-2014 at 04:55 AM.