FIRESTARTER
Dear Diary,
I warned them: stop disrespecting me! I’m no basement dweller
I want to have my cake and eat it, too; not be placed in cellars
They talked over me; ignored me; acted like everything’s fine
But in time, the straw that broke the camel’s back was losing my Swingline
Fuck Bill! Fuck the Bobs! And most importantly, fuck Initech!
Who just lets someone learn they’re laid off when they stop getting checks?
But now I have traveler’s checks to make my vacation days so swell
This is a great hotel! Who would have thought that arson would pay so well?
My words may come out garbled, but my head is clear when I try thinking
My days used to be spent collating, now they’ll be spent mai tai drinking…
…NO SALT!
-Diary entry from Milton Waddams, suspected arson
|