Topicaldood: Really a fuckin great verse. Really after the first stanza I was hooked. I think you told this story very well while maintaining good mechanics. It read perfectly and I enjoyed the shit out of it haha. Really nothing bad to say man.
Innovator: Still a good verse man it just seemed there was something missing to me story wise. Idk. This storys been done a thousand times before but yet you still made it seem original and with heart but still something was missing to make it special imo. But as for word choice, perfect. Specifically the line saying he's a lost cause. Loved the wording there. Props Inno.
All in all I gotta give my vote to Topicaldood
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