Red Glare
Your flow is imaginary and almost promiscuous lol(Joke aside)
After re-reading it a few times I mus say; I enjoy reading your verse man. Deeper everytime, and really no complaints; Loved it.
My Favorites:
overjoyed - with happiness; I blushed a blasphemous, flash of the void:
I was ecstatic; I acted coy; In a trance; poised; in rags of decoy;
under the sequoia tree; furthest expression; from that of annoyed.
all caught in my auras omega-blast and destroyed.
the rabbit - runs across the field; faster then noise;
the non-believers are captured; dispatched as employed
Summary:
Really love your sense of abstract, like I said; dope is like fucking imaginary. Ya know the only problem I saw was the ending, you go from intense visions too Sigmund Freud too asteroid hemorrhoid too quickly in my eyes. You had an amazing idea schemed for this piece but it feels like you mashed it togethor too shorten length when you should have polished, cut and mixed.
Keep up the work biggest problem is its "Too short" too have so many thoughts.
Frank
Iv been impressed more times this week then I can really contemplate; you took the cake, most impressive plot, breakdown, scheme, easy read, enjoyable words, best storytelling iv seen since RM.
My Favorites:
Gathered on the river banks of no currency; the shores of splendor.
Where water was pure like pouring britta; the poor cleansed their pores in swarms of fingers
Ya know this was really meaningful wether you intended it too be or not (sure ya did.) Like the britta vocab put downthoughts tbh but the ideal remains sturdy and the scheme goes perfect with:
The lush green jungle back drop was dead gorgeous -
Picture the glimmer of the reflective surface of water; our ancestors mirror;
Rushing, along and you are hardly remembered.
I also love the journal style you did, but like through the eyes of a director or producer; vivid story with curiousity teeming.
But I loved it; every bar. A book I could get in too.
Summary:
Like Red Glare, it wasn't long enough; Your came off a better read and less rushed on terms of story. Nothing too say that I havn't gasped too.
You set higher expectations of not only the board and myself you showed what's possible with words. Like nigga, you got me rooting for you now so I can one too take that championship title.
V/Frank, it was close up until the ending. Just came off better polished, story and all of the above yo; Most talent amongst talented artists.
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