[dead man]

/


i've been wishing for a perfect moment. maybe it's now
patient denial. sit in solitude and wait for a sound.
save me a smile for when it's over and we're back at the house
fight and claw then fuck so that it balances out
i feel manic one moment and then i'm somber the next
that center-point's the closest thing to God I've accepted
beautiful in hateful times, chaotic at best
slide 3 coins into the slot so i can call you collect
i've watched my circle turn to addicts, dealers and lawyers
as the drippy sun drops behind a field of sequoias
searched for solace in the sciences and fell in the cracks
lit a candle for my fallen love and melted the wax
I'm centered, self-centrifugal and selfish at that
it takes a lot of chemicals to help me relax
self-awareness is the devil's romance, salty her flesh
summer dusk, graveyard passages. so foggy our breath
that it stuck to our exchanges as we talked of resent
until we reached the parking lot and parted. confess
your secret inner monologues or live with a ghost
like moldy bacterium on a cellular host
infection, she wrote. grab my wrist and check for a pulse
let the silence sink and watch me float..
i feel like i don't even know my friends anymore
more alone than ever as they enter the door
lighter flame and bottle glass and trips to the store
sweating icy bullets as the temperature soars
betwixt our stories long-distorted like olympian lore
we fantasized in unison of treasures galore
bloodletter platelet perforation festering sores
moi cheri amore. i love you but there has to be more
comfort is a luxury we've taken for granted
i'd trade it all away for just a taste of enchantment
necromantic my dossier, documental the curse
which is likely the reason i've never finished a verse





BLACK