Netcees - View Single Post - AOWL Week 7 Champ: Frank (5-0) vs. Red glare (4-1) [FRANK WINS, 12-1.]

Cereal_Killa · 04-02-2013, 12:34 AM

RG:

It’s Kronos tale right.. Kronos representing royalty bringing death to the masses.. Hey man I aint gonna play your vocab and rhyme structure where off the fucken chain.. Your link to the topic was amazing but the best part was that you made Kronos out to be a hero.. that was cool.. The over usage of the word “JOY” was a lil too much, but you brought that shit all the way back.. so its all love.. I think personally you needed to have added more of the battle itself, one layer of imagery representing the over throw of the people in the first place.. You had the scene set up for it, dropped a bar on it and then when straight to the victory.. Still dope none the less..

Frank:

Dude I’m gonna be forward you’re a cool dude and this is only the second verse I’ve read from you.. The first one I was like this dudes dope but he gets caught in the hip hop element more than the story the your original concept.. I’ve been waiting for this, and wow well worth the wait.. You didn’t faulter as far as development, imagery, line structure, vocab, flow and over all concept of the story.. This was a crazy piece, the one flaw.. the one and only flaw of this to me was the camera line.. it’s a story about the colonization of America but camera’s where used in any serious sense until the 1930’s.. maybe I’ve over looked something and it is an updated version representing this battle for land.. But to me all signs lead to the actual event.. Anywhoot crazy use of mechanics and you are a beast..

Vote = red glare

Red Glare held back to me he should have laced it with a battle scene to leave to in the readers mind the real struggle, but his overall concept still shone and was highly creative..

Frank dudes verse was straight forward but constantly beautiful..

As far as skill goes you guys are true freaks/masters.. Loved this battle

Bout to read votes to see if I missed something on the camera drop in frank’s verse..
Either way my vote has to stay with RG.. His unbelievably well structured lines have massive information stored in each one, and though could have hit harder where insane..

Amazing Thank YOu

04-02-2013, 12:34 AM	#11
Cereal_Killa Licking Lily's.. Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 706 Battle Record: 11-6 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3565733	RG: It’s Kronos tale right.. Kronos representing royalty bringing death to the masses.. Hey man I aint gonna play your vocab and rhyme structure where off the fucken chain.. Your link to the topic was amazing but the best part was that you made Kronos out to be a hero.. that was cool.. The over usage of the word “JOY” was a lil too much, but you brought that shit all the way back.. so its all love.. I think personally you needed to have added more of the battle itself, one layer of imagery representing the over throw of the people in the first place.. You had the scene set up for it, dropped a bar on it and then when straight to the victory.. Still dope none the less.. Frank: Dude I’m gonna be forward you’re a cool dude and this is only the second verse I’ve read from you.. The first one I was like this dudes dope but he gets caught in the hip hop element more than the story the your original concept.. I’ve been waiting for this, and wow well worth the wait.. You didn’t faulter as far as development, imagery, line structure, vocab, flow and over all concept of the story.. This was a crazy piece, the one flaw.. the one and only flaw of this to me was the camera line.. it’s a story about the colonization of America but camera’s where used in any serious sense until the 1930’s.. maybe I’ve over looked something and it is an updated version representing this battle for land.. But to me all signs lead to the actual event.. Anywhoot crazy use of mechanics and you are a beast.. Vote = red glare Red Glare held back to me he should have laced it with a battle scene to leave to in the readers mind the real struggle, but his overall concept still shone and was highly creative.. Frank dudes verse was straight forward but constantly beautiful.. As far as skill goes you guys are true freaks/masters.. Loved this battle Bout to read votes to see if I missed something on the camera drop in frank’s verse.. Either way my vote has to stay with RG.. His unbelievably well structured lines have massive information stored in each one, and though could have hit harder where insane.. Amazing Thank YOu __________________ You think YOU'RE sick I shit cough drops ..