CK
your word use was dope all around first off...rhyming i gotta say your inners flowed nicely and your scheme was just flawless
you kept that shit going through out the entire piece. the last line in the first little section..the wakeful sinnerr line...man
that had some great imagery to it. and it kicked your piece off nicely..through out the entire piece you kept it pretty consistant
with the story...but the first couple of lines from "my waking life" the first couple of lines you go on a self hype type of shit
then quickly go back to the narrative style you had going...kind of threw me off..great piece tho.
KK..K?
yo this was weird..i aint gonna lie i had to read this shit a couple of times. if this what meant to read like a dream....it did. it faded in an out
at times i felt a little lost...not with your content but im thinking its more the transitions from stanza to stanza. tbh after a few reads it grew on me
and the imagery you painted started to come out more clearer..only thing tho WTF is the drip drip for?..im sorry if its going over my head..mechanically
this was dope i mean the flow was vrry nice man..got a bit bored of tions but thats just me..im taking away from your piece with that..just pointing it out
so you know im pissed about it.
overall
this was a dope battle...i thought both came with some cool shit..i thought both confused me a bit..in the end tho ama choose the best story..and i thought keith
brought that to the table it was original, it flowed well and even tho i got lost at times, the story was pretty consistant and came through fairly clear..i felt like CK
stumbled a bit towards the middle end...good shit tho folks..keith.
|