Barakon. didn't know you were nice like this... good tactical choice going for the multis against Frank, btw. Could've been executed a little smoother however. "oy" is a pretty harsh/ guttural sound to be repeating every line, read like a battle chant.
the angle was also fresh. have you read A Canticle for Leibowicz?
Quote:
angels; wing spans; that caused drafts that dampened the spirits of 'bad';
who Sigmund Freud would later psycho analyze; as cracked,
language the lord would not entertain;ears clasped to avoid;
4 corners of earth - unknown to maps and tabloids;
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iight!
strong diction. 143 would be proud loll. but yo, your punctuation was really incorrect. it didnt affect how i read it lol but it annoyed me. you're using Blacketh sentence fragments, no need to put together the semblance of proper grammar when hackneyed commas do the trick.
FRANK.
Quote:
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Where water was pure like pouring britta; the poor cleansed their pores in swarms of fingers.
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:cool:
Reminds me of that Esmerelda verse, somehow.
Quote:
So isolated; they've escaped both benefit and burden - sworn from heaven
They haven't saw us yet. They are still busy with the morning agendas.
Our guide, tells us - "whatever we do; Do not shout towards the Seneca
It is important not to disturb the 4th world" he says - adoring vigor.
We had toured through dementia; time warped visitors
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essence
Both dope angles on the topic. I didn't break down Frank's verse at all, because I thought about it for awhile and couldnt think of anything to say. in a good way, like everything has been said. I will add that his wording was excellent. lots of dope mini-details that crept through the cracks, small phrases that were anything but purposeless.
mechanics-wise and wording-wise, Frank took this. much smoother. I liked Red Glare's verse a lot... the concept was ill, if Frank hadn't come to the plate with a good story on deck he wouldve lost i think.
V/ FRANK