View Single Post
Old 04-01-2013, 09:35 PM   #11
Mike Wrecka
WOW
 
Mike Wrecka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
Battle Record: 29-25


Champed
- Writing Challenge League I

Rep Power: 82779338
Mike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant futureMike Wrecka has a brilliant future
Default

nice battle guys. both good reads.

zygote- didn't have the insane flow you usually bring, but you did fill your verse with a ton of imagery. you described the sights, the sounds, the smells of the scenario that you brought to life so vividly. it was an interesting story and I enjoyed it thoroughly. very good work here.

Adonis- you decided to make a sequel to the verse you posted against me. not a bad idea. imo this verse wasn't nearly as descriptive and lacked the emotion of the prior episode. the flow was a little choppy in some spots, which kinda surprised the shit outta me cause that's one of your strengths usually.

I enter. Naked and bloody – Full of life,
The only scream is the machine bedside,

I could not get this line to work no matter how hard I tried. it started smoothing out later on in the verse though.
good work. it was a good story overall and had some real quotables in there but your mechanics weren't what we are used to reading from you tbh.

vote - zygote

enjoyed it more
__________________
A.bove T.he R.est
Mike Wrecka is offline