c.d.m. - Good stuff here, I thought you did well with writing this in an educational manner. Most Americans are still asleep and will always be asleep when it comes to this subject: what money is and where it comes from is of no consequence to the average 'merican. I liked how you outlined your points neatly and the flow was above decent for the most part. Using the right words in most instances helped your piece out as a whole immensely, compared to others who would neglect the rhyme scheme to drive the main points home. Two or three parts I wasn't feeling, talking individual bars, not stanzas. Other than that, this was a satisfying take on the abominable Rothschild reserve. Hit up the new world order thread sometime (I know you like to bring up Jesus in those types of threads but also bless it with some good old fashioned research as well since Jesus is a customary given in your case, V)
Ink - Spunky. I was nodding my head at your first 5 bars or so because I liked the impulsive thought relating to fate that you put into it. You made it a tangible substance, consequential for many but consumed by all. Then you give detailed examples and lament in a way about the burdens of the identity of Fate. The process of giving and taking, equal distribution of "freedom" in life, and who is favorable in the eyes of the irreplaceable judge - the one with the duty of choosing which mortals to give good fortune to. I thought it was nice.
My vote goes to Ink this round. VERITAS was no slouch by any stretch with a good verse giving a decent scoop into the inner workings of the Federal Reserve machine. I don't think it was as strongly woven as Ink's was, which was dreamy and also dexterous. Good battle gents..
|