[PancakeBrah]

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE WHERE GUNS AND ROS

here. we. go.

PHAROAHSARMY52

welcome to the jungle a sweltering sauna nature cannot be harnessed..
africa south america southeast asia geo graphical places.
sunlight can't escape from it's captured and broken,

mad'am, what is going on here? You need to work on your punctuation OR write in such a way that what you're saying is clearer. From needs a comma bruh bruh. And after sauna. The middle line is a waste of space in a ten line verse. With more lenient restraints on length it could be used as a space filler/scene setter type of line but here it wastes precious space. And can sunlight not escape jungles? I'm no rocket scientist so I don't know.

in a prism of foliage.. species unnumbered.. each'v them hungry..
tribes paddle on the amazon the jungle just watches.
much like a crocodile does.

third line presents the same problem as your geography namegame line. It doesn't carry enough, or any, weight to warrant eating up a line in this short setting. So far your verse has described the jungle then compared it to a croc. That's where we're at.

the jungle just watched in vietnam,
as GIs walked the foggy swamps to fight the viet cong.
it doesn't decide the fate of the prey or the tiger
it just provides the environment for the out-come.

Weak ending. Your rhyming has been loose, to say the least, throughout this piece and was weakest here.

You took the most literal interpretation to the topic possible. Welcome to the Jungle; here's what the jungle is and some things that happened in jungles. The rhymes were lackluster. Paired with the generic content, this piece leaves a lot to be desired.

PEANUT GREASE:

This was good, pinot grij. Tony the Tiger isn't thought of as a child molester so I was like ayyyylmao. The first line's rhyme basically beat pharaoh's entire verse from a technical perspective so you're set there. Your approach to the topic was obviously more creative and left field. I'm not going to do the whole break down thing for you because I'm lazy and everything was pretty airtight here, like Tony's poor victim's buttholes. Good job here guy bro.

Cool like battle. One writer clearly outdid the other.

v/Pinot Grij