pharaoh. okay verse, thought that for 10 lines it could've been much more polished. Liked your variety of descriptive mechanisms (foliage was a prism, describing those around the subject to accentuate your tone without being brash), but your closer invalidates almost your entire description. (EDIT: i misspoke, it doesnt)A little cool how this makes it seem like if you get swallowed up by the jungle's charm and atmosphere, you'll fall prey to the one thing you should be paying attention to.
Pinot. Outrhymed and outwrote your opponent. Funny verse, it got a wry smile.
Had Pinot Grij with a less auspicious but more developed and aesthetic piece of writing. Felt her accomplished more with the 10 lines,
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Last edited by Split; 08-29-2014 at 09:34 AM.
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