[Split]

Soulstice. A nice, highly developed 10-line verse. Didn't like the repetition of "keep running" a line or two apart. That just felt sloppy, given your abilties. While the vocab was great, some of the adjectives seemed lofty & to overextended for my tastes- "conservative crooning", "recursive confusion", and "invertebrate eunuch" all felt unusual and mismatched. Too stylized. Like if I texted u 'how was your day' and you said 'obsequiously sedentary- if you catch my drift' but I wouldnt catch your drift nomsayin?

It didn't heavily take away from your verse, it just seemed out of place & forced when usually your writing is very contained and smooth. It's hard to do a lot with only 10 lines.

Kudzu trees was awesome, haven't seen that before and it practically set the scene for you in one short phrase. Varied vocab & good flow to everything.

Interesting idea you touched upon, how the same music can make us feel nostalgic for very different things. "My way home" is like a way of saying that your narrator feels disharmonious with his partner in crime. She looks for reassurance and gets none, as your narrator is lost in thought. He's possibly thinking about how she went overboard in the showdown you allude to ("you didn't have to do that back there" "why spare bullets") but the narrative frame of two thieves on the run in a foreign land felt askew & misplaced as you described the nuances of nostalgia. It was like, MI:3 if the real focus of the film was teenage angst & the characters went through deep personal revelations in the middle of chase scenes.

I'M PROBABLY NITPICKING TOO MUCH. Your verse had good aspects but didn't quite pull together for me.




Objective. Good aspects but unsatisfying overall. I didn't like your figurative language, it was mostly misses for me and they tended to muddle the picture more than clarify it- like "charlatan crusade" and "sharp as a blade is games thats warped to be played".

The opener caught my attention, but your writing wasn't very descriptive because the metaphors and comparisons didn't connect at all.

I liked your interpretation of the topic. "Terms and conditions" was a fresh concept that developed your tone.

Good battle, but I feel Objective was overpowered by Soulstice here. I found Soulstice's verse to be solid, but distorted in a very specific way. Objective's verse didn't deliver on a mroe basic level.


Good battle.

Had Soulstice.