[IamBenT]

Fantastic battle of the cliches this week lol

TopicalDood5 - Okay man... just showing off here lol The word choice was just stellar, really fantastic. At first I thought oh no not another Medieval verse (lol I have written and read many of these so I am a bit jaded), but your attention to detail and impeccable flow (through 95 percent of it ) just kept me reading and wanting to know what was going to happen next. The wordiness can at times, for me, detract from the suspense of what you have here, which is a really interesting story, but your vocab is great, and the ending is very sly and reflects the topic in a roundabout but symbolic way, which is similar to the route I took this week, so I like it lol Great verse man.

Quotes:

And the smoke flows through the psychic's haggard fingers
And hides in the darkened corners where the daggers linger I just love the way it began

The crimson fellowship approaches the enemies garrison
Ready to purge their scourge like heaven-sent seraphim
Impending and definite - their doom a portent for all
- but swiftly opposing forces pour forth from the walls! What a Twist! lol

Innovator - Even though this has been done to death as a storyline, I still think you had some refreshing details
that other writers i have read before have missed, and your wordchoice was strong, plus I liked your use of multis through most of this verse. Still thinking of how this verse meshes with the topic, it seems to fit the "Murder is the author of Peace" better, but I can sort of see how John's hatred fueled him to do something he would not ordinarily do. Some of the best writing in this came as you are exploring John's past and his pain, his life, and really painting a vivid picture of his struggle. The end, with the gory details, was great too.

Quotes:

John was a loner because dad was gone and moms was a stoner
the type of kid who drank just to drink so he was never sober.
A lost cause at odds with his flaws with no direction to his order really strong start

Brain splatters over chalk and blackboards as he shows no remorse….
Destruction is his course as violence indorses his actions to kill.
justified in his decision, he lets off creating corpses from the blood spill.
BAM! The jock…BOOM!! The cheerleader, they get it in every spot
BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!! He takes a stand on top of the bodies he rots.
Who once were fresh to life find their flesh new to deaths plots. Really Cooking in this section

Vote -TopicalDood5 for a more polished, original, and well-written verse. I feel Inno's verse shows a real improvement in all facets of his game, but its clear to me in TopicalDood, we are dealing with someone who is in a different class at the moment.