Excellent marks on sensitivity with words in the text. I might be missing someone but I think that you, Pancake and English (in no order) have a strong vocabulary on this forum. Back to the content, the whole thing was a home run hitter until the last few lines, I fear. I'm a mortal enemy of the word 'encroached' in creative writing because I feel like when I hear it, a mental image of a roach pops up automatically. The sound of the word even mentally conjures that. The flow was satisfactory but the care for the language is why I was paying attention.
that encaptured his knowledge. Valedictory speech,
thrown off some caps (he hadn't been that since 2003).
^lol very clever.
Home was a house he had left. Passages walked
til he found a thought to follow again.
^Very insightful.
Like shouts in his head. Mantras mounted like death
and surrounded the bed among baubles, and pens,
^Sick.
Good work, Split.
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