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Old 08-27-2014, 11:21 AM   #5
Bodey
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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MMLP- verse was pretty basic. Didn't really have a lot of substance to it, it honestly sounded like a bunch of advice without a plot behind it. Try and make it more personal next time. Like instead of saying "life on the binge can take its toll", SHOW how life on the binge takes its toll. I know it's hard with only 10 lines but you coulda made up a character who lived on the binge and who didn't drive slow, and it woulda announced itself more than your verse

Split- your verse tells a story with many metaphorical references to the car and I liked how you referred to it as your girl, like most men do with their big toys. This is what I woulda looked for in a verse, something with edge to it.

V- split
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Originally Posted by Objective View Post
Judging from those pics and the state you're in I've concluded with the fact that the world needs more Bodeys.
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