This wasn't up to your normal level. Many of the rhymes and wordplays were forced, starting with the opening clauses. I know this was sarcastic and probably written very quickly, but you're usually pretty pedantic about your rhymes, and the slants here were pretty strong (even aside from "fromage"). I guess the part I liked most was the duct tape section.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
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