[Certain]

This was a very direct combination of your surroundings and the topic. I never fully dug into it. I think your style works better for telling a loose story than simply developing a character, and I'm not a big fan of straightforward character sketches anyway. Here, the poetic phrasing never felt fully comfortable and engaged. And I didn't think the ending completely landed, particularly because exposition has never been your strong point, so you end on this weird note that never felt completely related to the story. I also struggled to capture a solid cadence here, though the rhymes were fine. This verse was OK, but you've been much better than this recently.

(Yes, that's exactly what I wrote in my vote. You got nine votes on that battle, from many of the best writers here. All of the votes featured detailed analysis of this verse. Why up this thread out of all of them?)