Well.... I honestly kind've have no choice but to vote for Vulgar here.....
Vulgar - this piece is really well written though does lose grace in a few places it tends to pick back up fairly quickly and rebuild the flow that it loses pace with. So I have no strong worded things to point to you right this instant without re-reading it a few times.
Witty - Repetition can build strong cues within a verse or song, but when over used will KILL the energy of a verse. This is what happened with your repetition of "I". There needs to be separation between repeatedly saying the same word or it becomes dominant within the verse. It is okay some places where it is intended as it helps paint the picture, but I feel as though even what you have so far here, could be improved by a bit of re-wording to reduce the repetition.
V/ Vulgar
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