Butts: This was good. Your approach wasn't much, but your execution was. You gave life to the scene in a complete way, providing characters and plot backdrop - all done nicely with good, technical writing and strong rhyming (though detritus is not pronounced how I think you think it is). Overall few complaints, nothing great, but everything good.
Slut: I may have liked your approach better than Butts', but the actual writing was not as deft. To be honest a lot of the wording felt clunky to me, and it was difficult to suss out any meaning in certain stretches. Like this:
A modest case for the modern craze of religious politics
leaves prolific believers behind, nothing is viscious for critics.
These tidbits please cynics when stars gets aligned,
it sparks the design of physics when books is lost in devine.
A lot of these phrases were not anchored with any clear meaning to me. Like what is the modest case - the earthquake? I don't know what "nothing is vicious for critics" means either, nor do I understand what it means to spark the design of physics or what it is to get lost in divine. Not trying to be a dick, just pointing out what didn't work for me. I think what could help is having a more clear framework for the direction of the verse, and then it's easier for readers to attach meaning to otherwise elusive concepts.
Vote: Seymour Butts
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You should be water
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