[Split]

With diploma in hand, John walked off the stage.
He'd dreamed of this moment for like eighteen birthdays.
Felt like he could float, school over, childhood finalized-
But it'd be a lie if I described John as close to motivated.
Graduation. Parties commence, life became nights strung together.
Rum and coke, thirty rack, blunt smoke, coke bump, never better.
His girl was mad, lately he'd been too hazy to open up,
crazy, cause he knows she claims to be afraid of blood...

Barely knew her at all, on the verge of breaking up-
The words caught in his throat, the two were truly alone...
In fact, as the four winds took to the small town population
he lost almost a fourth of his friends to academic obligations.
Jogs no longer felt safe, and his porch was empty in summers.
Every sunset, life became more portioned, confined to his wonder.
His city a maze of blurred faces, orphan of consequence-
He and Mikaela fin'lly bought an apartment. Day jobs pay rent,
Bills and entertainment. they loved in the darkness, if only by bed.
Holding his head. Perennial migraines and indigestion.
Couldn't stomach this, gradually dying with temples clenched,
Where was the love? Not even content. Cartoons had painted
adulthood as vibrant, something to dream up as a child.
Developed an out- a vein-pinch penchant for narcotics in vials.
Drunk at the office. Painless. Wouldn't have caught us,
if it wasn't for those fucking middling authorities.
His wife cheated as they grew into their forties.
Divorce was court-ordered, the fall only accelerates,
Possibility of escape, condensed to a notion to swim through.
But freedom held such a different taste through the eye of a needle.


Eyes groggily opened to the sound of his home, twenty years prior.
Ma raking leaves and his dad building a fire. John shivered,
A simmering thought lifted from his shoulders. Colder,
Looking back on his dream saw he'd only managed to grow older.
Renewed, remiss and determined to preserve his fate,
This old soul failed to rise from the dusty sheets in his cage.
An elderly lady struts to his side, with pills, blank expression,
Not a word but a thousand lines and white tresses.
consignment. withdrawal and eternal depression.
A growing pain. Where did my life go?
it had all felt so real, at first...